


Out of Mind

by tehspikey



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5430089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehspikey/pseuds/tehspikey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sole survivor of vault 111 was behaving strangely, and Piper just knew there had to be a good story behind why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Mind

"Geez, what a dump."

Piper Wright looked around the dilapidated pre-war house. Crumbling walls, broken furniture, debris, and an awful smell from God-knows-what in one corner. She doubted much salvage could be found here and she turned to her travelling companion to say as much when something made her pause.

The vault dweller, the sole survivor of Vault 111, the woman who called herself "Reilly" and nothing else, stood in what was likely once the dining area of the small house and looked intently down the hallway. Her stance was wearied. Defeated. And what Piper could see of her eyes were shadowed and forlorn. It was so unlike the strong, capable woman Piper had come to know that it stilled her usually rambunctious tongue. She instead felt compelled to ask a question.

"You OK, Blue?"

Reilly seemed to snap out of her reverie and turned to Piper. She looked surprised to see her, as if she had forgotten Piper was there.

"Did you say something?" Reilly's voice drifted from far away, and was coarser than usual, as if road dust had coated her throat.

"Well, not really, I mean --"

Piper broke off her wandering thought as Reilly stepped away. She walked purposefully into the hallway and disappeared into a small room on the right. She emerged again moments later, carrying a bundle of rotting and tattered cloth. "C'mon," she told Piper simply, and walked through the house's front door.

Slightly bewildered, Piper followed. Reilly was acting weird; she'd not seen her like this before. Fair enough, they hadn't known each other too long, but time is a funny thing in the wasteland. People tend to get through the "getting to know you" phase awful quick, as you never know what's going to happen tomorrow.

Piper's nose began to itch, and she scratched it in annoyance. Her nose always got itchy when she sniffed out a new story. A mystery to be solved.

"Where we goin', Blue?"

Reilly was quiet as they walked down the crumbling street. Piper didn't push; she knew it wouldn’t be that easy, she'd find the right question eventually. Reilly obviously wanted Piper there, they’d travelled from Diamond City together to get here. Time was on her side.

Instead, she studied Reilly as they walked. She had the mannerisms of a soldier. Long, steady stride and a determined gaze that fixed the horizon. She was not in her usual Vault suit and mismatched armour today, instead garbed in a tan sweater vest and slacks ("civvies", as she called them). Still, even in these casual clothes and no armour, Reilly still cut an imposing figure. Tall, broad shouldered and an aura of power that only comes from a dedicated workout routine. Or a hard life in the wasteland. Piper tried to imagine Reilly in the apron and bob she'd seen of those pre-war women in those old magazines and tried to suppress a sudden gaffaw that came from deep within her.

"Something funny?"

Evidently, not very successfully.

"Not really..." Piper replied, awkwardly. "I just -- I can't picture you as one of those pre-war housewives you see in those old magazines. All white picket fences and dresses. You don't seem the type."

Reilly snorted a short laugh of her own. Piper inwardly chalked up a minor victory at the sound. "No, I wasn't really. You'd be surprised, though."

Mirth bubbled in Piper's voice. "Oh I would, huh? Do tell!"

"What you'd do for your family, yes. If it came to it." Reilly was far away again, lost to the past. Out of reach.

Piper sighed. She almost got somewhere. Frowning, she tried to think of another way to lift the mood, get Blue out of her funk, when something rattled at her feet.

“Careful!”

Piper immediately stopped short, alarmed at Reilly’s sharp tone. She knew that voice. Piper had learned to pay close attention when Reilly used that voice. The ‘Danger!’ voice. The ‘watch your six, a feral is behind you’ voice. Piper looked to her feet, heart in her throat, expecting tripwires or hidden mines or, -

A crumbling skeleton?

"Oh, geez, you scared me, Blue. I thought it was something dangerous. What gives?"

"No, I just..." Reilly trailed off as she looked at the skeleton, and then the dozen or so others that also lay scattered over the ground.

"I knew these people." Reilly said simply.

Piper's heart sank. She scanned their surroundings, finally noticing that somewhere along the way they'd turned off the crumbling street and walked up this dirt rise. Piper scanned the houses that made up the Sanctuary settlement below. Then she turned, and across the path stood an ancient wire fence, barely standing under its own weight. The bodies were strewn before it, flesh rotted away ages ago. Everything was old. Pre-war.

"Oh god, that was your house back there." _That I called a dump!_ Piper’s mind helpfully reminded her.

Reilly said nothing. She was solemnly gathering the bones of her neighbours and friends. Piper looked past the crumbling gate. Old machinery, crates with the Vault-Tec logo. Another realisation breached her mind's horizon.

"And this is… was your vault."

Piper got no reply. The only sound from Reilly was the rattling of the bones she carried. With a sinking stomach, Piper began to sense how Reilly must have felt. Stumbling over the bones of people she'd seen what would have felt like moments before. Looking out into the crumbling ruin of her quiet neighbourhood and beyond...

The endless wasteland.

Piper sighed, for once at a loss for words. She quietly helped Reilly gather the bones and set them gently off the path in a small ditch. Reilly then covered them in the rotting cloth she'd gathered. Probably her own blankets, once.

"It's not much.” Reilly muttered finally. “I can't even name their graves for them. But it's the least I can do." Reilly made a soft sound of defeat. "They deserved better than rotting on a hill."

Piper understood. She felt the admiration she had for this woman growing. Such a rare thing, to care this much.

"You're a good soul, Blue."

Reilly looked back at Piper for the first time since they'd left the house. Her eyes were still hooded and Piper ached with the pain she saw there.

"Am I?"

Piper itched to reach out, take Reilly in her arms, sooth her hurts with soft words and gentle fingers through her short brown hair. But she stopped herself. Though she ached to do it, it wouldn't be right. This woman just lost her husband. Piper had to remember that.

"More than any I know." She instead replied to Reilly, simply. "More than me, even."

The vault dweller shook her head, disagreeing with Piper though she said nothing more. She looked over the makeshift graves she'd made, and bowed her head.

Piper wanted to argue, to reinforce her point, but she stilled her tongue. She too turned her gaze to the long dead neighbours of her friend, and wondered who they were. What did they do? What were their passions? Did they live a happy life in their time, or were their dangers of another kind she couldn't begin to fathom? She thought of how many times she'd just stepped over similar bones as she travelled the wastes, like they were nothing. It's easy to forget they were all people, once.

Reilly stood slowly, making a small grunt of pain as her limbs protested kneeling so long, breaking Piper from her sombre thoughts. She watched as Reilly stretched the pain from her legs, gathered a strengthening breath, then turn to walk through the crumbling wire fence. Piper felt growing concern, and had to ask.

"Hey Blue? You sure you know what you're doing? I mean - I feel like an ass for askin’, but you really want me here for this?"

"There's something I need to do." Reilly's voice was firm, almost cold.

Piper was uncertain what that meant, but she was pretty sure she knew a dismissal when she heard one.

"Right. I'll just...wait down in Sanctuary then?"

"No! I --" Reilly spun with alarm, though she calmed her voice with a sigh. "I want you here. I need to do this, but I need you with me."

"Oh, OK.” Piper gave her friend a gentle smile. “Sure, Blue. Whatever you need."

 

* * *

 

"I feel like I need to take my shoes off in here."

Reilly let out a short, quiet snort at Piper's words. She looked over at the reporter from Diamond City and felt genuine affection for the woman, and growing admiration. Despite the solemn mood, Piper was still trying to make her smile. It couldn't have been easy to survive in this world and still put other’s feelings before her own -- the abundance of Raider bands made that obvious. In a lot of ways Reilly felt lucky. She’d only just entered this hostile world a few months ago. Piper has had to survive, and _thrive_ past it’s dangers her whole life -- she was far stronger than she gave herself credit for.

Reilly tried to think of a way to share her thoughts. But the cold, sterile environment they were walking in intruded itself into her consciousness, and her mood sank again. She fixed her eyes ahead. Memory assailed her at every step down the long hallway. In her mind's eye she witnessed herself stumbling down this very corridor, groggy from sleep and grief, fumbling at controls and fighting her own confusion.

"I can't imagine how you felt. Waking up. Finding the world so changed..."

_There she goes again, reading my mind._ Reilly thought. They continued in silence, their footsteps echoing through the empty complex. They reached the end of the corridor, to the room of cryo pods. She saw herself stumble from the now solitary open pod, coughing and groaning with pain and grief. She watched herself claw at the controls for Nate's pod, hitting it with growing frustration.

“Is that who I think it is? You OK?”

Reilly found herself standing before her husband, a hand on the glass that separated them. She turned her head to Piper, seeing the compassion in her eyes and a stab of guilt hit her in the belly. She nodded slowly, shifting her mind’s focus to the present.

“Yeah. I’m OK.”

She again turned to look through the frosted glass, at the face of her husband, forever frozen in death. What would happen to him now? How much time had passed? How long would it take before he looked like --

_No. That’s not why I'm here. That’s not why SHE’s here._ Reilly drew a breath, gathering her thoughts from the cold air.

“You ever read the bible, Piper?”

A leaden pause from the reporter, as if she were utterly thrown by the question.

“Uh, which one?”

_Stupid. Of course she hasn't. What a dumb way to start_ \-- “The Christian bible.” Reilly clarified, interrupted her own thoughts. “Or Old Testament. Whatever. Christianity is still around, right?”

“Oh, yeah I think so. I mean, I met one of those Abbey of the Road missionaries once. I think they are. You don’t hear about it much in the Commonwealth, though.”

Reilly nodded, and spoke softly to the glass. “So all it took was the end of the world so they’d stop caring about that one, stupid line.”

The soft words hung in the air a moment. “Uhh, Blue?” Piper’s voice was skittish, faltering. “You lost me…”

Turning from the cryo pod, Reilly walked to the nearby stairs and sat on the top most one. She’d lost the words again somewhere, and fought to get her mind back on track. She wanted -- no -- _needed_ Piper to understand.

The reporter stepped close and joined Reilly on the step. The air hung heavy with her hesitation, before she finally reached out and laid a gentle hand on the vault dweller’s back. Her hand was warm, despite the frigid vault they sat in, and Reilly drew comfort from the slow, soft circle it patterned.

“They say there was a time,” dry dust had returned to Reilly’s throat in the silence. She swallowed, attempting to clear it. “Before mine, I mean. Forty or fifty years before the war. When things were brighter.

“Things were different, or so my history books told me. People were more free to do as they wished.” Reilly swallowed again, past a growing lump in her throat. “Nobody, or - I should say most people didn’t care who others dated, or why. Their occupation, or race, or gender didn't matter. As long as they were happy. Hell,” Reilly turned toward Piper, passion strengthening her words. “We could even get married!”

Piper's face broadcast her confusion. “‘We’?” She asked, gently.

The righteous passion that had strengthened her evaporated, and Reilly faltered. “L… lesbians. Well, gays too. People... Like me.”

Reilly held her breath, watching Piper’s face for her reaction. This felt huge, she’d just dumped a big sign before the reporter - the map that plotted the path to her greatest insecurities. Those in her last life, anyway. The fear still gripped her, even though she knew this world was different. The Wasteland didn't have room for those old bigotries, it was too full of the new ones.

The warm, soothing hand continued its pattern on Reilly’s back, and Piper radiated quiet compassion, waiting for her to continue. Reilly had to look away, or she might lose herself in the intensity of Piper’s eyes.

“But then, the War came.” The vault dweller continued, voice hoarse with feeling. “Things were still bright at first, but… Well. Priorities changed. China was growing, Anchorage was taken, and Americans were dying in battles all over. Conservative views became dominant and anything not of a “Healthy Family Unit” were severely frowned on, even outlawed in some states.”

A mockingly bright sing-song tone entered Reilly’s voice. “After all, healthy families make healthy soldiers!”

“Sounds like typical political BS.” Piper’s words dripped with uncharacteristic cynicism.

“Tell me about it.” Reilly sighed, explosively. She lowered her head into her hands, running forceful fingers over her scalp, as if trying to push the right words to the front of her brain.

“What’s this about, Blue?”

Piper’s question drifted, unanswered. She tried to clarify her confusion. “You don’t seem the type to care what people think.”

“You’re right.” The words fell from Reilly like wood, and she sighed. “I did my part. I served my country. I could have been with whoever I wanted and not givin a _fuck_.”

A pause hovered between them.

Piper broke the silence first. “But…?”

“But I wanted a baby.” Was Reilly’s simple answer. She looked over at Piper, and could almost see the cogs turning, the picture forming in the reporter’s mind. As one, they both turned their heads to look at the same thing. Nate’s cryo pod.

“So he was…”

“A good man.” Reilly clarified at once. “A very good man. An old war buddy. He loved me more than anything. Always did.”

The pause in Reilly's words grew heavy with implication. Piper filled in the blanks.

“But you didn’t feel the same.”

“I loved him.” Reilly returned quickly. Too quickly. She took a calming breath. “Like a brother. Like a partner in arms. Like no one else can understand who hasn’t been through the battles we fought together. Just not…” Reilly lost the words.

“Romantically.” Piper supplied.

“Yes.” Reilly breathed the word out with a heavy sigh.

Both reporter and vault dweller surveyed the room, as this new information settled on Piper. Reilly found herself hoping she hadn’t ruined something precious.

“Did he know?” Piper asked, finally.

“Maybe. He wasn’t stupid. We never talked about it though. I think he knew what made it all worth it for me, and didn't want to spoil it.”

“Shaun.”

“Shaun.” Reilly affirmed, nodding slowly.

Piper nodded as well. She leant in, giving Reilly a small gentle squeeze. “You’ll find him.”

“I know.”

Reilly stood, breaking the connection between them with some reluctance. She walked to Nate’s cryo pod, and placed her head gently on the glass.

“I can’t even bury him.” She sighed. “He didn't deserve this.”

“Neither did you, Reilly.”

Hearing her name from the reporter's lips for the first time since they met drew the vault dweller's attention. The simple word rocked through her like a shockwave and she stared, dumbstruck.

“You can’t beat yourself up over things out of your control.” Piper was speaking earnestly, passionately. “What was it you told me, back when I interviewed you? Your advice for the city.”

Reilly fought to regain her senses, still reeling from having heard Piper speak her name. Was it wrong that she liked it so much? _Focus, you idiot!_

“That’s what you gotta do, Blue.” Piper answered for her, finally. “Keep on. Find Shaun. One day at a time.”

The vault dweller turned back to her husband - in name if not in feeling. She felt something within her change, a knot loosen within her stomach.

“Yeah...” Reilly whispered quietly to the glass before her.

 

* * *

 

Later, they sat in rickety chairs in the service yard of the Red Rocket truck stop Reilly had claimed as her own. They watched the setting sun and shared a few Gwinnett Pilsners, taking comfort in the dry, still warm wasteland air. Dogmeat periodically ran up with his tattered baseball, and Reilly indulged him by throwing it as hard and as far as she could. He always found it though. Even if he went through half of Concord looking for it.

Piper drew another swig from her beer, wishing it were colder. Her eyes lazily roamed the yard, finally falling on her companion. She could see that something had changed within Reilly, since their trip underground. She seemed more relaxed, more so than Piper had ever seen her in fact. Like a weight was lifted from her substantial shoulders.

“So, Blue?”

“Hmm?”

Piper paused. Once again her mouth had engaged before her brain had time to keep up. She felt it though. Something still wasn't right. She frowned, trying to find the right first question. She really didn't want to spoil the mood but… Well.

Her nose still itched.

“That was mostly for my benefit, right?” She guessed Reilly was dwelling on the same thoughts.

Reilly choked on her beer. “W… What?”

_Yep. Right again._

“You needed the closure, that much is clear. But you could have done that without me, on your own. Why was I there?”

Reilly floundered for words. “Well… I -”

Piper didn't give her time to think.

“And don’t give me that crap about ‘emotional support’. I know you, Blue. You’re strong enough not to need me. Hell, I watched you throat punch a super mutant to death!”

“That doesn’t -”

“You could have told me all that anywhere. Why there? _What was it I needed to see?_ ”

“ _ **You’re not a rebound,** **alright?!**_ ”

Reilly’s voice was the roar of a yao guai. Piper drew back, at first stunned into silence, then stupefied as her brain tried to make sense of the context. An unnatural silence descended between them, and even Dogmeat, just returned from another ball fetch quest, cocked his head in confusion and whined softly. Reilly sighed, and raised a hand to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck, and… Piper squinted in the dimming light. Was that a blush on her cheeks?

“I, --” The normally sure woman battled with her tongue, awkwardly. “I really like you, Piper. And… I think -- I _hope_ , you feel something too. But before…” Reilly stared intently at the ground, as if it would give up the right words if she intimidated it into submission.

Finally, she sighed, turning back to Piper. “I needed you to know the truth. That I’m not… Damaged goods.”

“Aw, Blue…” A breathy sigh carried Piper’s words. “You didn’t have to -”

“But I did. I needed you to see I'm not in mourning. Well, maybe I am, a bit. But not for the reasons you were thinking. I've moved on.”

Piper grew quiet, letting this latest revelation sink in, still a little stunned. Sure, they’d flirted a bit, but Reilly was really sounding serious. She felt her own cheeks begin to heat at the implications.

_Well, my nose has stopped itching. Must be true._ Piper couldn't help a chuckle at her own thought.

“Something funny?” Reilly sounded wounded. _Woops! Quick, say something!_

“No! Not you. Not… That. I just…” Piper paused as a new thought occurred, just in time. “You really thought I’d think you were damaged? As if that’s a new thing out here. Who isn’t?”

Reilly let a soft breath through her nose, and slumped further into her chair. “Yeah, that’s true I guess. Sorry.”

_Oh, not so fast Blue. That's just what I call you, you don’t have to_ prove _it._ “Hey, can we go back to the ‘I really like you Piper’ part? I think I need to hear that again.” Mirth made Piper’s words buoyant, balloons cheering up the night.

Reilly sighed, taking a sip from her beer to hide the warmth growing on her face.

“You’re cute when you blush.” Piper’s laugh at Reilly’s expense abruptly turned into a squeal, as a very soggy baseball sailed across the yard from the other woman’s hand, hitting her square in the chest.

“Ow, geez Blue, you got me right in the b... Awww it’s all covered in slobber!”

Another squeal then split the night air as a very enthusiastic Dogmeat tackled Piper for his favourite ball. Reilly let out a deep belly laugh. Piper had never heard something so grand.

She vowed to hear it again. And often.


End file.
